Hey there boys and girls! Would you like to hear a story about a highly successful warlord named Octavius that killed a lot of people and stole a lot of stuff? Of course you do.
Octavius had everything on Earth that his heart desired. Everything, except peace. It seemed that monsters got in the way — with their narrow labels and nasty beliefs. As we all know, monsters are bossy and pretty insecure. So who did our pushy, nationwide tyrant turn to to save the day? Himself? Of course not.
Popular opinion says when a crisis arises a hero must be called for to come rescue us from bad feelings and all sense of personal responsibility. Well, in this world, the world of Warlord Octavius, heroes are in short supply. Octavius’s world may want a spandex wearing, compliant hero to take out its trash but they will receive a fashionably rebellious champion to remind them to do their chores instead.
In Down with Monsters, Zeph David creates an illustrated, black and white storybook composed of poetic reflections, pro-wrestling like theatrics and sardonic prose. What does this have to do with Spartan Buddha, the wandering, self proclaimed “World’s Greatest Fighting Philosopher”? Everything and nothing. This is his fairytale.
Once again, you're welcome but thanks is deserved for someone else. Or perhaps something else is more correct. If you can travel backwards through time without having your mind torn apart and scattered through history like a Jackson Pollock painting, go back to 1982 and thank the future for making this level of connection possible.
Q. Why did you make Down with Monsters? A. Chicks, man. I love chicken.
Q. How long did it take you to complete the book? A. A little over a daydream.
Q. Did you make this while on drugs? A. If the natural chemical imbalances in my brain count as a drug, then, no.
Q. Why is this a Spartan Buddha Fairytale? A. All the other fairytales were on family vacations.
Q. What's that Pokemon thing on the cover about? A. You mean the dead monster head wearing a spiked collar being bludgeoned by a downward facing arrow? It's my artistic failing at trying to create a cute anarchist symbol.
Q. What is Spartan Buddha? A. Spartan Buddha is a violent ray of black and white webcomic wisdom with two problem solving fists and one smart-ass helmet. Monsters are stupid ideas. Spartan Buddha fights monsters.
Q. Who is Zeph? A. Zeph is not a sudden gust of wind from your nose nor is he a large floating aircraft. Describing Zeph feels like describing a shade of red to a blind man. Not to say that you are blind but to say that Zeph would make a great, if not perfect shade of lipstick on a Victoria Secret model's lips.
Q. How can I contact you? A. By high-five or sending an electronic mail message to Zephdanger [at] Gmail [dot] com.
Q. What do you have against monsters? A. I like to pick fights with imaginary things. I have the imaginary scars to prove it.
Q. I hate reading. Can you tell me what happens? A. The screen fades to black while Journey plays in the background and they never get off the island because they're all dead.
Q. How long is the book? A. It's more than 140 characters and shorter than a plane ride to Paris.
Q. What if I live in Paris? A. Then leave and fly back.
Q. Does the paperback use batteries? A. No and the cover is not a touchscreen. It's solar powered.
Q. Why should I buy it? A. You, and when I say 'you' I mean 'we' as in every sentient being on the planet Earth, have been waiting for a beautiful, schizophrenically written picture book to use as a coaster on your coffee table and impress foreign dignitaries when they come over to visit.
Q. Should I buy this book for my kids? A. Yeah if you're kids are awesome and old enough to watch The Walking Dead or ruin their minds with online porn.
Q. Should I buy it for my grandparents? A. If they meet the criteria above and their last name is Dalí and first name is Salvador.