You made it! Technological magic and literacy have conspired in our favor to bring us together at this place —wherever that is. Thanks for coming. Please, take a seat, resume sitting or continue to walking into traffic as you fall in love with the dreamy digital marvel before you.
Do you like dogs? How about kittens? Well there's none here. Animals aren't capable of wandering onto cyberspace —yet. This playground is made of pixels instead of grains of sand and chewed up tire bits. There's no slide, swing, or ball pit, so keep the kids away unless you enjoy having grape jelly and cheese flavored cracker crumbs jamming up your keyboard.
If this computer screen wasn't between us I'd offer you a drink, preferably alcoholic or some stale chips and dip that I've been saving in my fridge for special occasions like this. What was once an impossible dream scribbled on loose leaf paper and tacked to a bedroom wall is now a full frontal reality. But still, I have no hors d'oeuvres.
As a consolation for my lack of refreshments I'll offer you some videos and music instead. The videos are bite size, low in sodium and contain no peanuts. I'm certain. I made them myself. The playlist isn't as digestible. Some may find the selection of songs too spicy or offensive to their auditory palate. Tough shit. This isn't Disney Land.
Do you like dogs? How about kittens? Well there's none here. Animals aren't capable of wandering onto cyberspace —yet. This playground is made of pixels instead of grains of sand and chewed up tire bits. There's no slide, swing, or ball pit, so keep the kids away unless you enjoy having grape jelly and cheese flavored cracker crumbs jamming up your keyboard.
If this computer screen wasn't between us I'd offer you a drink, preferably alcoholic or some stale chips and dip that I've been saving in my fridge for special occasions like this. What was once an impossible dream scribbled on loose leaf paper and tacked to a bedroom wall is now a full frontal reality. But still, I have no hors d'oeuvres.
As a consolation for my lack of refreshments I'll offer you some videos and music instead. The videos are bite size, low in sodium and contain no peanuts. I'm certain. I made them myself. The playlist isn't as digestible. Some may find the selection of songs too spicy or offensive to their auditory palate. Tough shit. This isn't Disney Land.
Would you like to hear a story about a highly successful warlord named Octavius that killed a lot of people and stole a lot of stuff? Of course you do. Octavius had everything on Earth that his heart desired. Everything, except peace. It seemed that monsters got in the way — with their narrow labels and nasty beliefs. As we all know, monsters are bossy and pretty insecure. So who did our pushy, nationwide tyrant turn to to save the day? Himself? Of course not. Popular opinion says when a crisis arises a hero must be called for to come rescue us from bad feelings and all sense of personal responsibility. Well, in this world, the world of Warlord Octavius, heroes are in short supply. Octavius’s world may want a spandex wearing, compliant hero to take out its trash but they will receive a fashionably rebellious champion to remind them to do their chores instead.
In Down with Monsters, Zeph David creates an illustrated, black and white storybook composed of poetic reflections, pro-wrestling like theatrics and sardonic prose. What does this have to do with Spartan Buddha, the wandering, self proclaimed “World’s Greatest Fighting Philosopher”? Everything and nothing. This is his fairytale.
In Down with Monsters, Zeph David creates an illustrated, black and white storybook composed of poetic reflections, pro-wrestling like theatrics and sardonic prose. What does this have to do with Spartan Buddha, the wandering, self proclaimed “World’s Greatest Fighting Philosopher”? Everything and nothing. This is his fairytale.
Hopefully you found those videos to be a splendid waste of time. You're probably wondering about the Book I've built this jumbled shrine to. As I said in one of the videos or some blog post or on a flyer you read somewhere, I'm giving out a PDF of the book like a dyslexic pirate. You can also access a paperback copy to cherish and fall asleep with like a stuffed animal through the miracle of e-commerce. But why pay for something that you can get for free? Well I'm not going to supply the answer for you. I'm not your dad. At least I don't think so. If so, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Despite all of our social media, the internet can be a cold, barren place. I have no cocoa or s'mores but the book may warm you soul or push it to the edge of a spiritual underground fist fight taking place on a bacon fueled rocket blasting towards a Venusian beach party.
You can buy the book here.
If you pay close attention you'll come to see that I'm a liar. You can pretend that you are "too cool for school" and are "happening like the bee's knees" and "don't read books with pictures" but you're not fooling me. You want to buy this book because you know it will improve your karate skills to the nth degree and shift your mind to a place of vast creative dexterity, hope and a profound sense of connection with the moving pistons and gears of the universe. AND it has pictures. Fuck yeah. You, and when I say 'you' I mean 'we' as in every sentient being on the planet Earth, have been waiting for a beautiful, schizophrenically written picture book to use as a coaster on your coffee table and impress foreign dignitaries when they come over to visit. Here it is.
If you're feeling frisky you can buy it from here too.
Or you can bump all that capitalistic nonsense and download it here.
Here's that PDF I promised. Punch that animated gif above and get the book onto your electronic computing device for free. Read it, share it, write a song about it and sing it from the top of the Himalayas while avoiding Yetis. I would love to hear that.
Once again, you're welcome but thanks is deserved for someone else. Or perhaps something else is more correct. If you can travel backwards through time without having your mind torn apart and scattered through history like a Jackson Pollock painting, go back to 1982 and thank the future for making this level of connection possible.
Once again, you're welcome but thanks is deserved for someone else. Or perhaps something else is more correct. If you can travel backwards through time without having your mind torn apart and scattered through history like a Jackson Pollock painting, go back to 1982 and thank the future for making this level of connection possible.
Wait. There's more.
Or maybe books really aren't your thang'. Maybe you enjoy the idea of having a champion style symbol of violent wisdom fixed and printed into a cotton garment draped on your skin. There's shirts available for sell. How fucking fantastic. And there should be other gifts and treasures there too, as long as I wasn't lazy about getting those designs finished.
What is DOWN WITH MONSTERS?
- This book was brought to you by the letters Z.E.P. and H.
- The working budget for it was between $200 million and being laid off.
- Development began out of a love for post-modern art, self righteous philosophy, and a hint of desperateness.
- Early drafts clocked in around the pamphlet size of 20 pages but were fed and treated until they bore fruit at 200+.
- Production took place in several library locations over many Earth months. It took the temporal length of a daydream and several Earth years to bring the book to material completion.
- Many finished drawings were harmed in the making of this book.
Who is ZEPH DAVID?
How do I explain the collection of dreams and stories that are attached to this body animal suit I pilot? Can I say that it is good at being emotionally evasive? Describing Zeph feels like describing a shade of red to a blind man. Not to say that you are blind but to say that Zeph would make a great, if not perfect shade of lipstick. Zeph looks great on pin-up girls' lips. Click on Zeph's smiling face to discover more of his bullshit.
What is SPARTAN BUDDHA?
To truly know what Spartan Buddha is, or anyone or anything is for that matter, is to fall in love with it. Be careful. Spartan Buddha is a brutal, right brained, ray of black and white comic wisdom with a pompous helmet and a laughing problem. He's an abrasively charming rogue with a bossa-nova gait to his walk that your mother would warn you about. His cologne smells like a leather boxing glove and hope. Click that pic for less & more confusion.
